We are social creatures. We have a need to connect with others. We thrive when we are surrounded by our tribe. We learn how to work together to accomplish shared goals (this is true at work and in life). Many times, we are altruistic and we put others first, even when we don’t particularly like or agree with a certain activity or goal. We do it because we care about others and we value them.
Our desire to connect and put others first helps us to survive, thrive, and be successful. However, there can be a potential downside for all of us. We are always considering others in our decisions, which is a wonderful thing, but it also has a cost.
When we constantly consider others first, we lose sight of what is important to each of us, on a very soulful level. Most the time we aren’t even aware this is happening.
Maybe, you have never even considered what is important to only you. What do YOU like? Just you? Who are you when you are alone? I know who I am as a daughter, spouse, mother, sister, friend, leader, and teammate. Who am I without considering those other relationships and the unwritten rules that them? Who are YOU without your unwritten rule book?
After my father died, I remember my stepmom saying she didn’t know who she was without him. Her life was all about his/their likes as a couple. She realized she didn’t even like watching tv, which was something they always did together and she never even questioned. It is wonderful to consider others, that helps make relationships successful. However, don’t forget to check-in with yourself from time to time, as well. What is important to you, only you? This isn’t always an easy question to answer. Sometimes, this takes a lot of reflection, if you are used to spending most of your time with others.
This week, for the first time in my life, I traveled solo to a retreat to reconnect with nature and myself. It was very empowering to research, plan, and execute all by myself.
This was an adventure on many levels. I learned I really like myself in the quiet times. There is calmness, knowledge, and new insight to be gained from solitude. I don’t always like myself during the busy times, because I don’t take the necessary time to consider or do the things I should do for myself.
During my time alone, I surrendered my ego and I got out of my comfort zone. I tried new things. I figured out what I like/don’t like. I let go of the judgement. I forgave. I practiced compassion. I lost myself, found myself, and loved myself.
I found this board hanging from a tree off the beaten path. It was such a nice surprise. I added “Me!” in the upper right corner.
I renamed this room the “writing room.” I will look back fondly at this picture because everyday I had the room to myself and this is where I started writing my first book.
My hope is that each of you will claim the space. Take the time to do this for yourself. This is not selfish; it is essential. Within each of us lies the power to heal ourselves, to practice gratitude, to forgive, and to love. Find the bliss…surrender, reflect, release, accept, and return!
{All pictures taken at the Lodge at Woodloch}
Namaste (I bow to you)
Prajna (wisdom, insight)
Prakriti (creation, beginning)
Satya (truth)
Shakti (power)
Ananda (bliss)
Bhakti (love and devotion)
Citta (mind)
Jnana (knowledge)
Prana ( breath)
Soham (I am that I am; the universe exists within me)
Much love to you all!
Kris
